


Surprise?

by yaustalla333



Category: Ocean's (Movies), Ocean's 8, Ocean's Eight
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 07:00:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15043313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaustalla333/pseuds/yaustalla333
Summary: Daphne Kluger and the rest of the girls hatch a plot to surprise Debbie and Lou with something special (it is Father's Day after all) for the summer, but their surprise goes horribly wrong. Featuring some domestic chaos in the beginning and a truly ridiculous main plot because I hope you guys are as starved for new Debbie/Lou content as I am.





	Surprise?

**Author's Note:**

> Just so you guys know it was physically painful for me to make Debbie a Yankees fan, but sometimes you have to sacrifice personal feelings for professional accuracy.

“Are you guys fucking kidding me?” The booming Australian voice made everyone cower in their seats. Constance was scared, so scared she forgot she had been blowing a bubble with her somewhat secret stash of dubble bubble that she kept buried under the couch cushion in the living room. Amita shot her a glare as the gum made a loud popping noise, and Lou fixed her glare on their half of the couch. 

“Look, Dad, we didn’t know--” Constance began to explain, but she was interrupted almost simultaneously by Tammy’s elbow to her gut and Lou’s scary aggravated voice, moving even closer. 

“Now is not the time for jokes. You had all better think of something to make this better, or so help me God.” She paces a bit. “Start thinking.” She demands, turning on her heel to somehow gracefully trudge up the stairs. Maybe it was the leather pants. Or the Australian heritage, she practically walked with an accent. 

Honest, the kids hadn’t meant it. Sure, they were planning something when they told Debbie and Lou about the new glass sculpture exhibit at Mass Moca, three hours away, but certainly not this. They thought the pair would be happy to see the new surprise they’d arranged for them, in appreciation of all the hard work they’d done in making everybody rich and still, for some reason, providing them all with a place to stay, 3 delicious square meals a day from Chef Lou, and seasoned advice on anything from petty heists to relationships. Constance wasn’t sure why she was getting so much of the blame anyway, what with it being Daphne’s idea in the first place, but she knew snitching wouldn’t win her back any points with Dad. 

It had all started about 2 weeks ago, on the first real hot day of the New York Summer, if you ask anyone but Lou, who had been in black flared slacks and something made of velour all day, even at high noon where the sun’s rays beat down at an almost uncomfortable 85 degrees. Debbie had made some offhanded comment when she walked in from wherever it is she goes every morning about how every other millionaire in New York is lounging poolside, where her girls were all splayed out around a single oscillating fan in their living room (again, except Lou, who was perched next to a window in the kitchen, reading a biography on William Henry Harrison). Once Debbie had dragged Lou from her self proclaimed reading nook and to the kitchen counter, the pair worked side by side on lunch, whispering and giggling to each other about whatever it is they talk about, while the rest stayed in the living room, half watching the psychological thriller they had put on, and half engaged in the forever ongoing debate of whether or not Amanda Knox was guilty. This was a debate almost as divisive in the loft as the single stuffed vs double stuffed Oreo debate. Just as Nine Ball was about to delve into the “her boyfriend’s testimony cannot be regarded as evidence because men are unreliable” tangent, Debbie called everyone in for pasta salad and Caprese sandwiches, effectively ending the debate. 

“Thanks Ma”, Nine Ball said casually as Debbie passed her a fork for the pasta. “Is pasta salad a salad, or is it pasta?” She asked with a smile, knowing this would start another debate through the group. The argument began quickly, Tammy, Daphne, and Rose on the ‘pasta’ side, Constance, Amita, and Nine Ball on the ‘salad’ side. Debbie and Lou stayed silent for a while, hands knotting into each other under the table, but eventually left their private bubble to pipe in here and there. 

“It’s got no lettuce.” Lou said, matter o’ factly. “Therefore, it cannot be a salad.” She concluded. 

“And cannot be counted as part of your daily vegetable intake!” Debbie added, earning herself a chuckle and a cheek kiss from Lou and an eye roll from everyone else. 

“There are tons of salads that don’t have lettuce!” Constance rebutted enthusiastically. 

“Name one.” Retorted Daphne, with a smirk on her face, knowing she’d caught her friend. 

“Uh like fruit salad, Miss Hollywood.” Constance responded with a proud smile on her face, which only made the table erupt further. 

“I believe that was our cue to leave.” The blonde Australian leaned over and whispered in Debbie’s ear. Her partner nodded enthusiastically, allowing herself to be led away from the table and upstairs, to the privacy of their own room where they could only sort of hear the debate that continued in the kitchen. 

It was a while before everyone calmed down, though without reaching a definitive answer on the question they had finally ended on which was concerned with the morality of the zookeeping industry, and realized Debbie and Lou had been long gone. 

“Well I suppose the least we can do is clean up.” Tammy announced, getting up to clear the plates. 

“Mom and Dad do so much for us.” Amita sighed peacefully. 

“We should do something nice for them sometime.” Rose agreed enthusiastically. 

“Oh! I just had the perfect idea!” Daphne announces, her voice, as usual, overpowering those of the other excited flutters around the room. “We should build them a pool!” She said enthusiastically, to a somewhat divided response. “Come on guys, remember what Debbie said when she came home? Every other millionaire in New York has one! Plus Lou loves the water!” 

“Lou loves the beach.” Tammy corrected. “But I’ll admit it does sound like a good idea…” She agreed cautiously. Too much praise can really get to Daphne’s head. 

“How are we gonna install an entire pool without them knowing?” Constance asked skeptically. “Last week I accidentally left one of my boards in the backyard for an hour and Mom almost lost it.” She reminds them all. 

“Listen, Debbie might have been the mastermind behind the Toussaint job, but we’re all established and certified sneaky now.” Nine Ball reassured her. “It’s our turn to fool them.” She added, and with that, a plan was put into action. 

Rose was the one who brought up the new exhibit to Lou. As the team’s resident art designer they figured it would seem the most organic coming from her. She told Lou that she had heard from some friends in the industry that it was absolutely marvelous, and the whole scene as well as the surrounding area was very romantic. This part was added after Nine Ball hacked her way into Debbie’s phone, and along with a great number of things that she wished she had never found, she also found that the couple’s anniversary was coming up. Honestly, it surprised them all how simple it was after that. Lou and Debbie informed the group the next week that they were going away for the weekend, and not to throw any wild parties. They left the next Friday, on Lou’s bike. The gang sprung to action as soon as they turned off the street, Nine Ball tracking them the entire time to make sure they didn’t turn around for anything. Tammy had some contacts in the contracting business from her stint in Suburbia, and they came in quietly and did pretty much all the work. The pool was ready by Saturday, and the girls had tested it out Sunday morning before Lou and Debbie got back. 

They fought for hours over the big reveal, who would get to tell them and how they would say it, until Lou and Debbie walked in the back door. 

“What is this?” Lou asked, gesturing into the yard. 

“Where is Derek Jeter?” Debbie asked, and the room was scared silent with the expression on her face, and the way that their normally calm and cool Debbie seethed through gritted teeth. 

“Um, who?” Rose asked meekly, breaking the many seconds of tense silence.   
“Derek Jeter Junior!” Debbie yelled back, stepping forward until Lou broke out of her freeze and wrapped her arms around her waist, pulling Debbie back into her and whispering into her ear. After a minute, Debbie gently pushed herself out of Lou’s arms and stormed up the stairs. 

The rest of the girls looked at Lou, horrified, waiting for an explanation. 

“Derek Jeter Junior,” Lou cleared her throat, “was the name of Debbie’s cat.” She finished, somehow looking all 6 girls in the eye, daring them to laugh. “He was buried in the middle of the yard. Right about there.” She says, pointing to the dead center of the pool.” She finished, looking away from the group. “And” she added with a bite, “Deborah can’t swim.” Great. The cherry on top. 

“Wow. Mom didn’t really strike me as a cat person.” Constance thought out loud, accidentally. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Lou steamed. And that’s where they found themselves now. Still wet from their morning swim, wallowing in guilt. 

“What are we gonna do?” Tammy asked, the guilt eating her alive. “I’ve never seen Debbie that sad.” She says with regret, and the others mumble in agreement, falling into another pensive silence. 

“You guys! I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!” Daphne exclaims.


End file.
